Medizynicus Arzt Blog

Krankenhausalltag in der Provinz: Medizin und Satire, Ethik und Gesundheitspolitik

Living and saving lifes in Germany

with 14 comments

Okay, here we are. Let me start with the basics.
Get a map!
See Europe?
This big thing, right in the middle of it, this is Germany!
That’s where we live.
There are quite number of us, must be around about 80 millions these days, which is probably more people than there are bath towels in Mallorca. So now you know.
We are a bunch of strong, serious and no-nonsense people.
We work hard, we build nice cars, there is no speed limit on our autobahn and we usually win the football world cup (No, it wasn’t a goal in 1966!).
We are straight and straight forward. If anything is kaputt we will fix it. If anything is verboten, we won’t touch it.
No, we do not have the slightest sense of humour.
But we do enjoy moaning!
We enjoy moaning even more than we enjoy Mülltrennung and Kurtaxe and Kehrwoche. If you haven’t heard about those three things you know nothing about Germany. But don’t worry: I’ll explain… that is what this blog is going to be about!
We not only like to moan, but also to critisize, to argue and to discuss anything and everything. With one exception: Don’t ever mention the war!
That is… unless your name happens to be John Cleese . In fact John Cleese did mention the war more than once and… sort of… got away with it, as we know.
To tell you the truth: we not only enjoy mentioning the war which we do quite frequently, we also enjoy discussing and analyzing any aspect of ist… although we are not nearly as obsessed about it as the English. We are definitely not obsessed with any Nazi stuff any more, in fact, we are quite annoyed about this. At least most of us are.
There is no „th“ in our language. Well, not if you mean that lisping sound… but we do have a health service in our country.
Of course we do.
Our health service is not yet as expensive to run as the thing they do in the United States of America and the standards are definitely higher than in the Peoples Republic of Congo.
To be honest, our health service ia actually not too bad. Especially not if you are into Natural Remedies, Homeopathy, Aura- or Crystal Healing and this type of stuff.
There is also lots of free spa treatment on offer in the public German health service, funded by your insurance contributions. You may not know, but in fact German style spa treatment is so famous, that the term „Kurort“ – meaning spa resort town – has actually made it into the Russian language.
See, it’s all good for something, eh?
Anyway, watch this space! See you soon!

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Written by medizynicus

2. Januar 2013 um 07:09

14 Antworten

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  1. ….and the Germans are mostly able to dedice things and take the respnsibility for the decision.
    Not like people in other countries where you have to call for the supervisior of the supervisior
    to get things done.
    Greez Landkrauter

    landkrauter

    2. Januar 2013 at 09:52

  2. It isn´t the „football-worldcup“. It is the „SOCCER-worldcup“. Football – the game with the equipment of an futuristic soldier or an anciant knight, as You like – is associated with the AFVD (American Football Verband Deutschland), the GFL (German Football League) and the GFL2.

    If You see a soccer-game, the ball is a sphere and not a bowl, the two teams have 11 players, the ball should be kicked inside the goal and not over it, and the only players playing the ball with the hands are the goalkeepers. And injured players are NOT normal during game. (In fact, insured players from Italy are actors. :-D)

    Oh damn! This was criticizing. I must be a german! 😉

    Gedankenknick

    2. Januar 2013 at 09:55

  3. It is indeed “football” unless you want to be all americanized which we don’t (“we” in the doctor’s sense of “how are we today”). Since I just criticised the criticiser, I must be the Über-German 🙂

    Sole Lunatique

    2. Januar 2013 at 10:38

  4. So damn true. I absolutely love the way you write and enjoyed reading a lot.

    Nina

    2. Januar 2013 at 10:49

  5. @Sole Lunatique: You´re right. If „we“ are in the british-english countries, the game I spoke about seems to be „rugby“, most likely „american football“, but without the knights equipment, and with more insured players. But as I read the lines: „Get a map! See Europe? This big thing, right in the middle of it, this is Germany!“ – I realy imagined being at the other side of the atlantic ocean.

    (And as I read my statements second time, I was thinking about some lessions in „Volkshochschule“ 🙂 )

    Gedankenknick

    2. Januar 2013 at 15:11

  6. @Gedankenknick: I just refuse to use American English – maybe this is due to my German stubbornness 🙂

    Sole Lunatique

    2. Januar 2013 at 17:05

  7. And Germans usually are able to read and talk in German language! Ich bin weltoffen und liebe andere Sprachen und Kulturen. Aber ich mag nicht, wenn man zwanghaft versucht, einen vermutlich überwiegend von deutschsprachigen Lesern gelesenen Blog auf Englisch zu schreiben. Ich fand den Blog bisher klasse; werde mich vom englischen aber wohl verabschieden. Schade! Danke für die bisherigen schönen Beiträge.

    Franzi

    2. Januar 2013 at 17:57

  8. @Franzi – keine Angst, der Blog wird weiterhin überwiegend auf Deutsch laufen, Ehrenwort, der nächste Deutschsprachige Artkel ist schon in der Pipeline…. äh, ich meine Pfeifenlinie…. äh, Rohrleitung natürlich… äh, also, ist schon unterwegs, wollte ich sagen.
    Das mit dem Englischen hier ist halt ein Experiment. Und dass es so schön hohe Wogen schlägt, finde ich toll!

    medizynicus

    2. Januar 2013 at 18:05

  9. Well, Mr. Gedankenknick, I’m typically German and quite amused: Why are just players from Italy insured? The German health insurance is mandatory, as far as I know. Well, maybe football players are far too rich to have to participate in this social thing. But my point is, usually the players are insured, but not always injured. 😀

    And medizynicus, keep on writing in English. Practice is always good. But don’t you dare to emigrate to an English speaking country, we need highly qualified, educated and entertaining medics like you.

    Eva_R

    2. Januar 2013 at 20:45

  10. you did not mention the most important word in Germany ( Ausländer ) ….
    if you are Ausländer…..it means no Trust, bad Language, nobody would rent flat or accept you in WG, bad Hygiene, women so carefull to get in Relation with you !!!, in the last go out from our Country nobody would accept you here !

    Burzum

    2. Januar 2013 at 23:23

  11. Well Burzum, I don’t know where in Germany you live, but in my area, economy would be down and half of the flats would be empty if it wasn’t for the Ausländer!

    Sole Lunatique

    2. Januar 2013 at 23:59

  12. @burzum: …and Germany may be the only country in the world where people who have been living there all their live are still called foreigners. Even immigrants in their 3rd generation are still „Ausländer“.

    medizynicus

    3. Januar 2013 at 00:10

  13. @Eva_R: This is the reason for „Volkshochschule“. And so my spelling is full of mistakes. But I admit I don´t read dictionary all day, so hopefully You excuse my insure-injure-problem. I´m sorry for that. And I hope You smiled a little. (And if we had talk, You may didn´t notice my mistake because my terrible pronunciation.)

    But – of course – Germany is the Country of insurances. So if the players are fully insured, they probably play in german team. 😀

    Gedankenknick

    3. Januar 2013 at 09:38

  14. Germany do the best for their own citizen except the doctors with the most worest residencey System in the world…..making the doctor do non medical Job for hours after the official hour times leaving them much behind in the medical knowledge of their college in the other advanced countries!

    so how can they save their Patient’s lives if they could not save their own life from the stupid System!!!

    Burzum

    3. Januar 2013 at 23:12


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